A quagmire is an awkward, complex, or hazardous situation.

Rehoboam son of Solomon was the 4th King of Israel.

After his father’s passing, he ascended the throne amidst pomp and pageantry. His father (regarded as one of the wisest ever) left big shoes to be filled.

One of Rehoboam’s first tasks as King was to figure out how to handle the new complaints of the people of Israel.

The Israelites believed they had been unfavourably taxed by the previous king, Solomon. They hoped that the new regime would deal more kindly with them.

Here was the young King’s first quagmire. Do as the people asked and risk being seen as soft, or refuse their request and risk being seen as a tyrant.

Rehoboam understood the gravity of the situation and so he didn’t lean on his own understanding. He told the people to give him 3 days to consider the matter and bought some time to seek counsel.

He sought counsel of 2 groups of people.

First, he sought the opinion of the elders who had advised his father Solomon while he was alive. The old men had lived long enough to have seen Kings come and go. They had seen and survived war, famine, revolts and more.

They had seen enough of the past to be able to predict the future. They had experience and most importantly, CONTEXT.

Please bookmark the word ‘context’ in your mind before proceeding beyond this point.

King Rehoboam asked the elders, “How would you advise me to answer these people?”

From deep contemplation, the elders answered, “Be a servant to them. Serve them. Be kind to them and they will always be loyal to you.”

They didn’t ask him to accept the demands of the people per se. It was about his attitude to them.

Perhaps they sensed that the young King lacked the skills of diplomacy that his father King Solomon was widely known for. Skills that ensured Israel never went to war while Solomon was king.

On diplomacy, my father once told me, “An Englishman would tell you to go to hell, and make you look forward to the trip”. Unpack that in your leisure, but I digress.

The young King left their presence and consulted the 2nd group of people. These were his age mates, the young men he had grown up with.

He asked them, “What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?”

Here is what the young men said, “These people have said to you, ‘Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter.’

Now tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’”

I’m not sure what was so exhilarating about the advise from his peers, but he chose their advice over that of the elders who had advised King Solomon.

The result was that there was a coup. He lost his throne as King of Israel. Israel was divided and only 2 tribes (out of 12) followed Rehoboam.

Rehoboam would live the rest of his days knowing that he was unable to consolidate on the efforts of his grandfather David and his father Solomon. It was in his time that Israel was divided.

This wasn’t the end though. Rehoboam, now the King of Judah, went on to make a series of bad decisions that saw Judah being invaded by the King of Egypt.

Rehoboam’s Kingdom of Judah eventually became a ‘vassal state’ to the Kingdom of Egypt. This means that the kingdom of Judah had to pay heavy fees regularly to the Kingdom of Egypt in exchange for an agreement of no further invasions.

Sad.

EXEGESIS

Honestly I cannot judge Rehoboam. My hair isn’t grey yet, but I’ve lived long enough to know that one cannot always get it right.

YOUTH IS HARD. Our higher self wants our longterm good, but these reckless hormones are steady ‘turninoniown’.

It’s hard oh. I won’t lie.

Just when you’re building your life and making some sense of the world, another thing will coman be pushing you to give woman belle. E hard, my brother.

At this foundational stage when we should be forging alliances and building bridges for the future, is when our temper is hottest. We can’t take nonsense. Something will be pushing you to start a beef that your children will inherit. E hard, my guy. Why do you think older people are generally calmer?

As a young person, you won’t always decide correctly and that’s okay.

It doesn’t mean you’re stupid. It only means that you do not have sufficient CONTEXT with which to accurately interpret your present situation, let alone predict a path of positive outcomes.

King Solomon wrote, “For by wise guidance thou shalt make thy war: and in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.”

Who makes up your war council? Young ones who like you, haven’t seen enough to form sufficient CONTEXT?

Or elders who have seen your exact situation play out many times before?

One of my greatest mental assets is knowing when I’m not supposed to trust my own judgement, especially on matters on which I haven’t yet formed sufficient CONTEXT.

I turn to those who have the experience.

When I need clarity on romantic relationships, I do not ask my age mates what they think. They might love me with zeal and sincerity, but zeal and sincerity are not factors of production. Without sufficient context, they will fail.

I’m perhaps the most quiet but voracious reader on Modupe Ehirim‘s Facebook group (The Right Fit Marriage Academy). She’s an involuntary member of my War Council. She’s experienced enough to have seen multiple scenarios come and go. She has the gift of CONTEXT that I haven’t acquired yet due to my age. That’s okay. I borrow hers.

On matters of spirituality, legacy and longterm 360 success, I lean heavily on Olakunle Soriyan. Through our conversations, I’ve learned from a man who has been where I am now. He’s honest enough about his wrong turns and right judgement calls. I treasure the relationship greatly.

On matters of street smarts, wisdom and domesticating celebrity status, I lean a lot on Teju ‘Babyface’ Oyelakin (Olateju Oyelakin). Before we met, I thought he was just a comedian. This man is not my mate.

He’s an intellectual chess master, processing matters of life and arriving at ecological outcomes at the speed of thought.

What is the point of this?

There are matters that do not require much contemplation. You can arrive at your own answers on your own – what to wear, how to hold your toothbrush, etc.

However, when faced with situations that hold longterm consequences, do not lean on your own understanding.

DO NOT LEAN ON THE UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR AGE MATES EITHER. They haven’t lived for long enough to have seen all possible outcomes.

Look higher.

I’m glad I stirred up the hornet’s nest yesterday concerning the issue of University Education.

A good number of young undergraduates emailed me saying that their mates in University had advised them to quit school.

YOUR MATES? I narrated the story of Rehoboam to them.

Your mates might mean well, but they do not have sufficient experiential context with which to advise you on matters of destiny. It’s not by reading “Rich dad, poor dad” or “Think and Grow Rich”. Such literature is only useful to those who can apply it to context.

At this point you might say, “But it’s possible to just sit down on my own and discern”. It’s also possible that you just have an issue with authority.

I leave you with the words of Lebanese poet Kahlil Gibran, “Seek ye counsel of the aged for their eyes have looked on the faces of the years and their ears have hardened to the voices of Life. Even if their counsel is displeasing to you, pay heed to them.”

There is nothing happening today that hasn’t happened before.

Be wise, gather CONTEXT for the road before you.

We have many more miles to go. This journey of life is still very long.

– J.O.